Anxiety

So I know that I've been lax in posting, already.  I want to explain some things to you that could very well be too personal, but they are going to affect how and when I post and how and what I write, so I'm going to explain it now and get it out of the way.

I hate school.  I shouldn't say that, because I really do love knowledge and learning, but I hate the pressure school puts on you to worry about what's coming next.  If there were a way that I could live without constantly feeling like I'm going to explode with anxiety about what will happen a few days, weeks, years from now, I'd take it.  The future fills me with such anxiety.  It's something that I am working on, and am managing better, but in recent years, it has caused me to do very poorly in my academic life.  You may think, "Well maybe you shouldn't be going abroad," or "How will this really have to do with writing a simple study abroad advice blog?"

I understand these concerns and queries, because I have had friends ask them of me.  I have had friends tell me that I am just running away from the problem and that I should stand and face it, but I really believe quite a few of those people just don't want me to go (and that is flattering, so thank you).  I am not doing this for them, I am not doing this for school, I am not doing this for my resume, I am not even doing this for you guys.  I am doing this for me.

I have never been alone.  I chose Alabama, a place I literally ran from in high school, to go to college because I had a "best friend" that wanted to be with me again. And I love you, Colonel, but college sucked that first year, because we didn't make the best best friends.  I made a choice based off of the fear of meeting new people and the fear of not having enough money to go somewhere I really wanted.  And even though I know my parents thank me for that decision, financially, I want to experience the sensation of going somewhere where everything is new.  I know no one.  I don't know the area.  I don't have any idea of what to expect. Hell, I don't even know what classes I am taking, but I don't care.  I want this.  I want it so bad I cry with excitement, and fear.

As my family and friends I know you love and care about me. So give me your advice, give me your quizzical looks, but give me your support too.  Because you do care about me and want to see me become a better version of the me you say you love so much.

I may be overcompensating for not having a "real" freshman year.  I may be making one of the biggest mistakes of my college career and possibly life.  I may not love it as much as I want to, in fact, I could loathe it completely.  But help me push through.  Please, I beg you.  Just be there. No judgement or guilt or jealousy.  Because I don't know that I'll be able to take it without being close enough to soothe your fears or have you hold my hand through my own.  I am taking a leap of faith here, give me something to land on.

Try to remember this for me if I call you fretting.

Useful Welsh Phrases

Here is another tip the lovely ladies at the Study Abroad Office gave us: learn the language.

If you are going to a country or area that isn't predominantly english-speaking, let's be honest, you should already know the language.  It is pretty crucial so you can understand professors that teach their classes in the native tongue.  This is also an important factor to not be so "American" (it's a stereotype I'm not proud to propagate, but one that I have seen often).  Many people think that we are so arrogant, that we believe that the rest of the world should learn English so we don't have to go through the hassle of learning another language ourselves.

But it really does help if you can say "hello, please, excuse me, sorry," just the basics really.  Another big thing to know, that really helps peoples attitude to you and your travel woes, is how to say, "Do you speak English?"

One, it is easier for them to understand, perhaps they simply don't know English at all and are not the ones to help you, but, truly, this lets them know that you are trying to experience their culture, not just trying to push them out of your way to the nearest tourist attraction or barge into their town and stomp around like Godzilla did to Tokyo (there was definitely a language barrier there).  Knowing how to say basic phrases lets people know that you travel to learn, not just to amass as many passport stamps as your little booklet can hold (which they have rarely done for me, anyways).

So, I'll stop lecturing you about being an annoying American and let you in on how this applies to my own situation.  Wales is a region of the U.K. steeped in its own rich history.  Even though Wales was brought under the English banner in 1282 it is so geographically separated from the rest of the island that it really has had a chance to flourish all on its own.

Celtic languages were the original languages of the native peoples in the British Isles, and Wales of course has its own.  Quite a few of them are slowly fading into the history books (a true shame if you ask me, as I am a lover of language).  Welsh, however, is not a dying language, at all.  In fact, a whole population in Wales speaks it as their first language.  The university, itself, is one of the few (or the only one?)  that has lectures in Welsh and whole courses and learning paths taught in the language.  I've received a couple of emails from the University now, and they are bilingual, but I will be honest I was terrified when the first email began, "Annwyl Jessika."  Then I saw the line explaining that the email was bilingual and breathed a sigh of relief.  However, this has led me to think that I should learn a few basic phrases, even if it does end up being just for the hell of it.  

Cymraeg is the first word to know as it is the word for Welsh, but here are some other helpful phrases I am going to try to keep in mind

Croeso = Welcome

Helo/S'mae = Hello

Sut Mae (informally)/Sut Ydych Chi (formally) = How are you?

Da iawn Diolch. A Chitau? = I'm fine, thanks. And you?

Beth ydy'ch enw chi? = What's your name?

Bore da = Good Morning

Prynhawn Da = Good Afternoon

Noswaith Dda = Good Evening

Nos Da = Good night

Hwyl = Good bye

Siaradwch Yn Arafach, Os Gwelwch Yn Dda = Please speak more slowly.

Esgusodwch Fi = Excuse me.

Faint Yw Hwn (masculine)/ Hon (Feminine) = How much is this?

Sori = Sorry.

Diolch Yn Fawr = Thank you.

Ble Mae'r Toiled = Where's the toilet?

Ydych Chi'n Siarad Saesneg? = Do you speak English?

And the ever important:  Iechyd Da = Cheers!!

My pronunciation will be horrendousm yes, and I am sure that I won't often run into people that don't speak at least a little English, but it would be interesting to converse basically with some people in a tongue that is both rugged and beautiful.  

A Welsh Dragon, the Symbol on the Regional Flag

Update: I think I will add words as I pick them up on the street. Maybe I will write some down, but I'm not promising anything.

Llyfrau - Books

Llyfrgell - Library

Siop - Shop

Plant - Kids (or Kids' Dept.)

Dan-y-Coed - (pretty darn sure) Dead End

Heddlu - Ambulance

Y Popty - The Oven (it's a bakery in town)

Cerddoriaeth

A Welsh Crwth

I've felt like being lazy these past couple of days, probably because I haven't been feeling all too well.  I know I promised posts every other day while I am in still in the states, and, even though I am not feeling much inspired, part of becoming a good writer is writing past the blocks and the blahs.  So I apologize in advance if this post seems a little dry of verve, but you still love me, right?

As many of my lazy days are comprised of listening to music, I thought I would post a little bit about that music which makes me long for the British countryside.  I've always been very interested in music hopping across the pond, but lately I have found myself immersing in a culture of music which is rustically authentic to the country I'll be visiting.  In case you didn't know this, much of what we know as country music is founded in the tradition of bards and lutes and such of medieval Europe. The kind of folky-country music I enjoy definitely enthralls because of its similarities to traditional "celtic" folk music.  I am wholly hypnotized by  anything that reverberates with like tones.  They just feel like home to me.

A few years ago, I bought this CD only because it had the word celtic on it (I have an obsessive personality when I go through these kinds of phases) and to this day that CD is one of my favorites.  This is so geeky of me, but I stumbled upon a PBS broadcast of the group, Celtic Woman, performing at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta.  I of course got uber excited when they mentioned that the ladies were coming to the area for their Christmas tour because really their voices are like fresh honey straight from the waxy honeycomb.  They just conjure images of such beauty and peace in your head.  By the way, I believe the best music is able to force you to imagine a story, a scene, a life: it should invoke emotions that you can't escape from until the last note fades away.

Anywho, needless to say, I have these women and a few other magical voices on repeat on my computer while I pack and prep for this journey to a land that I so desperately want to call home.

One of my favorite songs and just a taste of what these ladies can do.

Love y'all,

Jessa

People are weird...

Well, they've been acting weird at least.  My close friends and family have been acting somewhat strange around me.  Like they'll never see me again once I go abroad, and I kind of have mixed feelings about this. There is a part of me that always wants to be close to them, to be able to reach out and grasp their hand when I need to.  Another part of me always wants to distance myself, wants to be able to strike out, untethered, on my own and live a life that I make for myself.  I think those people who know me best get this.

Part of my going to Wales, going abroad, getting away from everyone and anything I've known before, is to make myself depend solely on my own ability.  I've never done this.  I've had moments of this, yes.  Maybe in athletics or school or some other such thing that seemed like it all depended on me, but in every one of those moments I had someone there waiting to pick up my slack or goad me into keeping it up or working harder.  I couldn't do anything without all the people that have been apart of my life.  Alas, it's the curse of humanity: no accomplishment is ever just your own.

But my family (close friends are definitely in this category) knows me. They know that when I get a taste of freedom, I'll be off, I'll want more. I won't stop loving them, but maybe I'll take them for granted. Maybe I'll forget to call, maybe I'll forget a birthday: I am a very forgetful person.  I seem to be getting better at this seeing as how I am trying to talk to my friends that are back in Fresno, but I feel that I would be more peaceful without people that I feel obligated to communicate with (again, in humanity, communication is necessary to survival, and friends are better than strangers).

But this step in my life isn't about escaping those obligations, or those people, because I love each and every one of them with my whole heart - even if that seems impossible.  Going to Aber is about stepping out on faith: faith in God and what he has planned, and faith in myself that I can follow his plan and push through the pain and the fear.  I'm excited to challenge myself this way again.  I know that I have lost my discipline to challenge myself and make it happen, but I want this so badly.  I will admit to my loved ones that I am terrified. I don't know what will happen to me over there, but I pray that my life will reflect God's plan for me and that I can do his will.

Love y'all,
Jessa

Stereotypes

ster-e-o-type: (noun) a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing

Hard to Read UK (and Ireland) Stereotype Map

So they've (they being our counselors and such at the International office at Bama) told us to open our minds past the pre-conceived notions we may already have of people in our host country. Since I've been to the U.K. before, I kinda get that not everyone walks around in a bowler hat and pinstripe suit with a pocket watch and the Times paper under their arm.  I also understand that tea is tea, and while very popular in the U.K. not everyone is as widely obsessed (this dissapoints, but oh well).

Having not been to Wales, nor having meant any Welsh people (at least not to my knowledge), I cannot disparage the stereotypes of them. And in fact, I cannot even say that I knew many of those stereotypes before I began researching for my year abroad.  The two that always seem to come up are that they are "sheep-shaggers" (I promise, I do not take this one seriously at all) and that they are cheap.  The cheap one, I think ties into the stereotype that they are thrifty.  I prefer thrifty.

I like to think that Wales will be like "the California of the U.K." All about recycling and fresh, local produce. I am all into that, and I actually already miss that about California. In the South, where we are now and where I go to school, it is totally possible to get fresh produce. I think what makes it feel different is that nothing is truly in walking distance, like things were in Fresno.

Sorry about the tangent.  A couple other stereotypes I've gleaned about the U.K. in general are that the people are rather impolite - bad customer service isn't uncommon in the U.S. though - and rude, that they are cynical and all of these jolly good traits are caused by the lack of Vitamin D that can make it through all the thick, gray clouds.

These, I think are the most well known stereotypes for Brits (I hope that un-offensively encompasses everyone). I think, though, that I am more aware and more afraid of the stereotypes that Brits may have about Americans (another sidenote: The first time I visited the U.K. was the week after all of the anti-American demonstrations in 2009). I know that most of the world sees us as arrogant, loud, obnoxious, ostentatious, and uncultured. Of course, some of us have to have been when interacting with others, or the stereotypes wouldn't have come around, but I hope that I will not be lumped into the category of stereotypical American once people meet me abroad.  I know plenty of people who would ask all of us from the U.S.A. that are abroad to be good ambassadors of American culture.

What are some stereotypes that you have about the place you are visiting, or what are some stereotypes you have about us Americans? It's all in the name of some good, tea-sippin', crumpet munchin', pinky raisin' fun.

Almost Completely Inaccurate US Stereotype Map

Love y'all,
Jessa

Samantha Brown

Yes, crazy obsessed

I love travel shows.  It makes sense seeing as I also love travel.  A lot of these shows are categorized by their hosts (It's hard to start one show that can encompass travel all throughout the world).  My favorite travel host has to be Samantha Brown.  I have watched her show since I was little, and most of the time I had to sneak it, because my family always complained (actually they still do) about what I watch.  When I came home in May, I was waking up at 5 or 6 AM and I would pop on the t.v. to watch the Weather Channel (I've done this since I was little, too).  One day I got tired of Al Roker's face all over my screen and flipped through the guide.  Lo and behold Samantha Brown's Passport to Europe was on.  I quickly switched over, hit the record button on the DVR, and made a promise to wake up and watch every morning.  I justified this as research for my upcoming year in Europe, as I do sincerely hope to be able to afford traveling to at least a few other countries.

This morning routine was duly interrupted by our moving, and when I turn on the Travel Channel here in Atlanta at 6, there is no Samantha Brown.  Disappointment? I do believe so.  So today, I am reading her blog, getting her packing tips, and scouring her portion of the Travel Channel website to continue my "research" (really it's boredom and excitement).

I actually recommend this. I know that I am crazy OCD about planning, which is unnecessary, but I do recommend researching experienced travelers before going.  So many places recommend travel guides and maps and junk, but what student really wants room in their suitcase for that? There are more important things to stuff in - namely clothing.  And books and maps will still be available, at least where I am going.  but even then, you could look for travel guides once you pass security. Many an airport has a Hudson Booksellers or the like.  Read and research until you feel you know the basics of the area you are going to. Know some basic places to eat or remember a hostel/hotel that you could stay at if something goes wrong in other travel plans.  I have a mini Moleskin notebook I jot notes in.  This is my advice.

What are some travel guides that you find helpful? I'd love to find more options for research.

Thanks y'all,
Jessa

Tentative Travel

Itinerary

I bought my plane tickets last night!! I will be travelling on a new airline, Aer Lingus.  It'll be nice to try one that isn't a U.S. airline.  Lord knows I travel with those guys too much.

My destination will be Dublin, which means two things: one, I will get an Irish stamp in my passport (eek!) and two, I will get to explore the city for a day before I have to leave for Aber!

This is where plans are tentative.  I will spend two nights in Dublin, which gives me a whole day to explore: not long, I know, but it is an easy weekend trip from the University so I can have a better idea of the city before I go.  I will take the ferry over to Holyhead three days before the start of term (cutting it close but the dorms don't open until this day).  I have heard of Holyhead and am kind of excited to see it.  

From there I will take the Arriva train to Shrewsbury and pick up a connection to Wales.  I have a feeling I will become just as acquainted with the Arriva system as I am with the Amtrak system here in the states (I'm pretty darn familiar, if you I do say so myself).  I do wonder how nice the trains will be compared to the trains I've ridden in the States and in France.

And finally, I will arrive in Aber, hopefully with a dorm (apparently there are some policy changes affecting my housing status) to settle into.  I can't to walk around my new home and get to know the shops, the sights, and the sensations of Aber! Only 33 more days!

Love y'all,
Jessa

Edrych Yn Ôl Ar

I warned you guys I would be posting sporadically about those things which make me want to be in the U.K.  The number one things are my memories.  The only time I remember being out of the States was for my brother's wedding in Canterbury.  

A perfect, small wedding

It was beautiful.  The sight that greeted us, was idyllic.

Sheep

 We spent the first few days in Canterbury, just exploring the town.  It was a beautifully eclectic mix of old and new.  We saw this awesome Canterbury Tales Theatre: unfortunately we were not in town long enough to get tickets (apparently Canterbury is rather attractive to tourists, oh well).  

We stayed at this beautiful cottage-like home, that was actually a gun emplacement from World War II on the Cliffs of Dover.  I know my family was excited to be staying on the closest point in the whole of the U.K. to mainland Europe (and if I'm wrong, don't pop our bubbles).  I was even more excited to be staying in a home owned by Mirriam Margoyles, my Hogwarts house leader (Professor Sprout, and yes, I am this geeky).  The view down was imposing - the cliffs are as high as 350' - and the view from the cliffs was amazing, even if it was too foggy many days to really see the French coastline.  

The day of the wedding was perfectly warm and sunny.  I know my brother and sister-in-law would have smiled despite the rain, but I was thankful.  They married in a small classic church, with the graveyard all around it, and the bell ringers in the foyer (I don't have pictures, sadly).  My sister-in-law was radiant, even though we pulled the corset so tight that one of the strings popped: my grandmother just pulled out her sewing kit and stitched it up twice as well as before.  

After the wedding, and between the wedding and reception meal, we took this breathtaking river tour on the River Stour.  One of the most interesting sights on the tour was the dunking chair, which was where they tied up bad wives, or alleged witches and dunked them in the river (which was also the sewage system in the age when they used this chair).  Floating on the River Stour was one of the most fondly remembered experiences in my time in the U.K.  The natural beauty of that country is something that enthralls me.

Our last few days in the Southeast we took a ferry trip to Calais, and then the train to Dunkerque.  Calais was a beautiful European town, full of art, and cafes, and life.  Dunkerque was much more modern due to the destruction of World War II.  While there, though, we found this charmingly random "museum" set in a bunker in the hillside.  The displays were classic, and the model sets looked as if the cute old men that tended the counter had made them while their wives cooked and nagged them to mow the lawn.  On the way back it was humbling to watch the sun set over the impressive and imposing Dover Castle.  

The next day we took a whirlwind drive of the Southeast and made it into Sussex, Essex, and over to Brighton (interesting fact: Aber is known as the Welsh Brighton).  On the drive we happened to pass Sandwich (admittedly, we were lost), and we decided to stop for dinner.  A Sandwich in Sandwich, perfect.

We spent our last two days in London, squeezing in as many sights as possible. My mom and grandmother took the tour buses, but the rest of us - my three brothers, my sister-in-law, and my father and I - walked the streets to see what interesting things could be found.  Sidenote: we also went on a self-led Jack the Ripper tour, and my brother tricked us with the jellied eel.  It was so not to my taste.

This is my story, this is my life and these are the things I love.  I can't wait to take this next step towards making even more memories in the U.K. and hopefully some in mainland Europe as well. Thank you so much for those of you who are joining me, in this.  I hope that you will be a support system for me when I need someone to lean on.

My two little brothers and me in Tuolumne Meadows

It ain't always pretty or graceful but hey

It's a Rainy 67 Degrees

With winds in the 17 mph range, just like a summer in San Francisco!! This excites me because I have been there and dealt with that with the weather in San Francisco, and if the weather in Aber is similar, I think I can handle it better than I thought.

Learning this, however, made me think back to my study abroad orientation and something they said: "Be ready to research."

Trust me, I obsessively researched immediately after the seminar, but with the information overload things weren't allowed to set in fully.  And now, when it is more real and approaching quickly, relearning this information is more helpful and necessary than just interesting, not to mention more up-to-date.

My suggestion is to find the biggest local news organization in your soon to be home.  This would not only come in handy when you are actually there, but they will have the most recent and important information for you area.  Mine is easy, it's the British Broadcasting Corporation, a.k.a, the BBC.  On the BBC Mid Wales homepage, there is an entire section dedicated to Aber Life.  You never know what information you can find that will affect you until you look.

There is an entire booklet on things to research and prepare for but there are a few things that are key:

• Contingency Plans: Find the nearest U.S. Embassy
• Money: Find out how your bank works abroad, so they don't think your card or account is hacked
• Research travel: trains, planes, and automobiles
• Some places don't have as structured road systems and you should be prepared to see weird things
• Some places have efficient and effective rail systems, something that not all of us have done here in the U.S. (it's called Amtrak here)
• Communication: Internet and Cellphones are different in each country and can be expensive if you're not prepared
• Currency: It isn't seemly to fumble with coins because you have NO clue what the currency is like where you are, just be aware
• Utilities: It is a good idea to be aware of what to expect with Plumbing and Electricity
• If you're in Europe, it's called a bidet and know there may not be a shower stall
• If you're in Africa, yes it could be a concrete hole in the ground and your shower could be a bucket
• Know what adapters you need and have a few, we are an electrically-driven society

The last thing for me is tipping and the like.  This gets confusing and it's hard to research because it can be very personal to you, and there are situations that you will run into where people will expect you to pay because you are American.  One should be kind, but also not allow oneself to be taken advantage of. As I go, I will try to note where and when these situations happen so when you encounter them yourselves, you'll have an idea? Hopefully.

Thanks y'all,
Jessa

End of a Chapter...

...And the Beginning of a New

It was exciting to watch the end of the London 2012 Olympics.  I'll be honest, I don't watch them for the sports, although they are quite inspiring.  I am a theatre and arts geek, and therefore watch two key events voraciously - the opening and closing ceremonies.  The British ceremonies were especially spectacular and they truly played my heartstrings.  This must be because I am a huge fan of British art - drama, music and most of all humour.

Eric Idle of Monty Python at the closing ceremony!

I think, even more so, watching these games has made me long to go to the U.K. even sooner.  I love seeing this country (that will be my home soon) celebrating all that makes it amazingly quirky, and, in my eyes, beautiful.  I can't wait to be there and I truly can't believe that it is less than six weeks until I arrive.  It thrills me.  Watching these games only made me all the more so.

For all those that want to be negative about how the U.K. went about these events: Piss off, please.

P.S. This will not be my post for the week: I only thought that this was too awesome a thing to not comment on. Also, I am thinking of adding sporadic and random posts about things that inspire my desire to be in the U.K. a.s.a.p. and new things that interest me once I am there. (Inspired by friend and fellow study abroad blogger Anna Riddle at ofshipsandsealingwax.blogspot.com: I hope I don't copy her blog over much, but it is well done, so... sorry Anna!)

Thanks y'all,
Jessa

Checking In

I'm still waiting for word on my visa, but, no matter, I am still uber excited.  I thought I would do a quick check-in because I know that I said I would try to post once I week.  I was in Omaha, NE until Sunday with no computer and this week my best friend is staying with me until Friday, so I won't have much time to pop on and do a really nice post (I'm actually doing this one while she is asleep, hee hee).

I tinkered with the font and layout a bit, but please let me know if you have any difficulty seeing the colors or reading the text.  I implore you for feedback.

Now onto the actual study abroad blog bits.  Recently I have come to the realization that almost nothing is ready for me to go abroad, besides the fact that I am not enrolled whatsoever at Alabama.  I received a whisper of a notion that I will not be provided housing by my host university, I have yet to hear about what classes I will be taking or how I will officially register for those classes, and I have yet to buy a plane ticket.  So many people I know panic for me when I talk about this, but I am not worried.  I emailed my advisor at Aberystwyth and I will shoot an email shortly to my advisor back home to make sure I am contracted for housing with Aber. The other stuff can wait a touch longer and that doesn't frighten me a whit.

In all honesty, the best thing to do is not panic. So much of this process is out of my hands at the moment, so much relies on the organization and helpfulness of the others involved that if I panicked and tried to control everything, I'd be a hot mess. And that is my advice to you, if you are going through this process: R-E-L-A-X.  So much is going to be out of your control, because you are entering into a new realm, so do your best to go with the flow so that you can actually enjoy your experiences.  Tension begets Anxiety, but Peace begets Joy.

P.S. I know I am long-winded, hopefully as I get to taking pictures and/or videos of stuff to post, I will shorten stuff up.

Love y'all!
Jessa