Y Lleuad

Cylch y Lleuad

I've felt a little moonstruck lately.  I could blame it on the full moon tonight: it is bewitchingly beautiful.  It could also partially be because I have been a night owl these past few days; waking up at 1 PM and not going back to bed until 4 AM.  Crazy, right?

But I have also had a lot on my mind: stirring, mixing, bubbling.  I had my final essays for the semester due today, and now that they are out of the way I can move onto the other things keeping my brain from turning off.  It all has to do with going home soon.  I have 18 days, which really isn't much the way these days have been flying by.  I wish I had more time here to explore and wander and bask in the glow of this country's beauty.  But I don't.

In fact, I only have 18 days.  I have been thinking about this a lot - since the moment I applied to come here, actually.  I have to return to Alabama next semester.  I have to take a full load and catch up on the classes I have missed, this semester and the last.  It is so hard for me to say that, but it must be said.  I know I will be homesick for Aberystwyth and all that I could do here if I were to stay 5 more months, but I know, too, that I am homesick here and in constant worry about graduation next year.

On a side note: I think I will be homesick.  I am a wanderer.  Everywhere I go I hide little pieces of my heart and every time I leave I forgot where to go to find them and take them with me.  I have so many homes, and so much heart to give, I know that I am not settling anytime soon, not in Alabama, not here, not in Georgia or California or anywhere else.  I love them all.

Apologies.  But there is much to do and many to email to get squared away before I go back.  It is actually terrifying. I have no housing, no classes, and no way to take my exams for this semester (they happen after Winter Break here).  God has given me the strength so far to not worry about this and to stay firm in knowing what I need to do.  I think that is one of the many things I have learned by being here and I am so thankful for all the lessons: I needed them, desperately.  I knew that there was purpose in my coming here and that is why I made the decision to come, against all academic logic.  I can not express the wealth of emotions that are roiling up inside me, but that is the beauty of the situation.  I would rather regret leaving a place out of love than want to run from it so fast and so hard that I got lost in my panic.

Once things are more fully set out and lined up I will post more on my decision and my time in Aberystwyth. Thank you guys for following me in this journey and I hope that you will continue with me as I prepare to depart and, perhaps, even further.

Love y'all,
Jessa

P.S. "Y Lleuad" means "the moon".